Emotionally speaking, there’s very little middle ground with me. Some days I’m a dead-inside man-bot with a heart made of old Nintento parts. Other days I’m an awkward teenaged girl with a lisp whose daddy doesn’t love her.
On one of these more vulnerable afternoons, I was sitting on my couch watching British television. In the US, TV stations run commercials advertising goods and services. Here in the UK, though, commercial breaks are made up almost entirely of pleas from charities.
There was soft music—the kind you immediately associate with suffering—and then the camera focused on a lone donkey walking in one of those depressing, sandy countries. His fly-covered ears drooped and his back sagged beneath a tremendous load of bricks and pots and the various luggage of poverty.
“Yesterday, today, tomorrow, every day is the same,” said the donkey, who had a British accent. “I work until I can't take another step. So hot, so tired, I need water, shade, rest. It hurts, my back, my feet, but I'm not allowed to stop. When the load is too heavy, I fall, but I keep trying."
And then I was shown a collapsed donkey—a stunt donkey, I can only hope—lying on the ground, feeble and exhausted. I instantly began sobbing.
The donkey continued. “Today a friend found me. She came to help me. She stroked my face and let me rest in the shade. She let me drink; she nursed my back. My friend is from the Brooke Hospital for Animals. She taught my poor owner to care for me, so my life can be better for good. I was lucky; some donkeys don't have a friend to save them. Sometimes when they fall, they never get up."
I dialed the number at the bottom of the screen. “Hello,” I said. “What is the maximum amount of money I can legally give you?” Because of the hysterical crying, the woman had trouble understanding me. “Take all my money. Please. Just save that donkey. The brown one right there, lying in the road.”
If you’re like me—wealthy and dangerously unstable emotionally—I invite you to join in my quest to save the donkeys by visiting http://www.thebrooke.org/. Once your mood stabilizer has kicked in and you’re able to speak without wailing uncontrollably, give them a call. To expedite the process, I recommend having your checking account, savings account and 401(k) information ready.