We're All Damaged

Friday, February 20, 2009

I Am So Famous

The Norman Nation has been up and running for more than two weeks now, and it’s safe to say that we’ve pretty much blown up. In a recent national survey of women under 49 who are married to me, The Norman Nation was rated the third sexiest Matt-Norman related blog on the entire Internet. The numbers don’t lie people: I’m huge.

However, international fame and immeasurable wealth do have their drawbacks. For example, I can hardly leave the house anymore without there being some embarrassing scene involving an obsessed, criminally insane fan.

On Wednesday I was shopping at some very expensive stores when this woman I don’t even know ran up to me and said, “Excuse me, which way is the tube station?” Fortunately my bodyguards were there to tackle her and break her camera on the sidewalk.

And then, just this morning, I was in Hyde Park doing my yoga when some little girl in a pink jacket toddled up to me and said, “Sir, I can’t find my mummy. I’m frightened.” Ha! Nice try, little girl. But I don’t sign autographs. Now scram!

As much as I appreciate your support and your Beatle-esque devotion to me and my immensely popular blog, let me remind you that I value my privacy very much. I’m a human being, just like you. Only more awesome. So, next time you see me at the spa getting a mud treatment or test driving an exotic automobile or dining with a woman you’ve only seen in magazines, please, just leave me be.

And yeah, Natalie Portman, that applies to you, too!

1 comment:

  1. "In a recent national survey of women under 49 who are married to me,"