- Slightly-above-average intelligence
- Skilled at the art of physical combat
- Taller than most people
- From one of those big states somewhere in the middle
- Looks a little bit like Bob Saget
- Hardly ever cries in public
But my favorite, of course, is fantastic journalist. Because, above all else, that’s what we really are here at The Norman Nation: journalists. And, as journalists, we pride ourselves on constantly keeping one finger—sometimes more—on the pulse of society. Therefore, I’m pleased, on behalf of our award-winning* Research Department, to announce the launch of an all-new feature here at the site: polls!
Do you love virtually sharing your opinion with people you don’t know and will probably never meet? Have you ever had an opinion on something and wondered if other random people share that same opinion? Are you desperately bored at your soul-crushing job and looking for any opportunity to do anything that doesn’t involve your mind-numbing list of tasks and personal duties? Well, once again, The Norman Nation has come to the rescue.
The beauty of polls is that they benefit me and you—but, more importantly, me. You see, several times a week, I write blogs and then post them blindly on this site with no idea whether or not anyone other than me is actually reading them. However, when you vote on a poll, that vote is counted, letting me know that you’ve at least been to the site. As that number steadily increases, so, too, will my will to live, my over-blown sense of importance and the length of time I admire myself in the mirror each day.
Basically, what I’m saying is: don’t be afraid to vote more than once. In fact, if you could vote every time you visit The Norman Nation, that’d be sweet. And, if you have suggestions for a poll topic, send your idea to firstname.lastname@example.org. Because—well, frankly—I could use all the help I can get.