It dawned on me the other day that my world-famous blog, The Norman Nation, looked as if it had been designed by a very old person who is frightened of computers. So, as a man of action, I called in the least incompetent of my many personal assistants and demanded that she do a redesign immediately.
Three hours later, after my bi-weekly spa/hot yoga/skin-cleansing session, I returned to find this: The All-New The Norman Nation homepage. My personal assistant, whatever her name is, did such a great job that I gave her the rest of the week off. And by that, I mean that she can leave on Friday evening at 4:30 p.m. as long as she skips lunch.
Now, allow me to point out some of the design features of the new site. The background colors, which are are brown and brownish, were chosen to match the exact color of the bronzer I've been using this Spring. And notice the many rows of imaginary books. In the literary world, we call these "symbols." In this execution, they "symbolize" how you all should maybe consider spending a little less time cruising the Internet for God knows what and more time reading actual books. I mean, seriously, what's wrong with you people?